au ah stres kali

hm gue cm mau ngeluarin unek-unek gue aja (buat yg ngerasa aja)

lo tau gak? gue nulis ini karena gue selalu inget elo! gue gtau harus gimana 50% otak gue di penuhin sama bayang2 lo aja 50% otak gue yang lain buat mikirin berbagai masalah dan kejadian kaya-nya gue kena karma deh? gue tau lo gak percaya hukum karma kan? tapi memang lo harus percaya karna hukum karma itu memang ada,bukti-nya gue kena karma sekarang fufu-,- setiap gue ngebuka history chat di msn sama lo bawaan gue mau nangis, ketawa, dan sakit. percaya gak percaya tiba-tiba gue netesin air mata gue buat lo, elo yang gak pernah ngerti perasaan gue, elo yang gak pernah nangisin gue tapi kenapa gue nangisin lo? gue nulis ini postingan pas mata gue udah merem melek nih,huuffftt gue bingung harus gimana tapi jujur gue gak mau kehilangan lo, hm padahal tadi-nya gue udah lupa loh sama lo karna gue udah dapet orang yg tepat agar gue bisa lupain lo dan menyayangin gue dengan tulus dan apa ada-nya gue, but why i cannot forget you? hm cuma allah yang tau karna gue gatau kenapa gue gak bisa lupain lo lagi, gue aja bingung sama perasaan gue sendiri hm, udah ah gue ngantuk z

fvck!

pertama kali-nya gua becanda sama kaka gua yang pertama ampe di anggep serius sama die! anjing lo a! lo kira tangan lo itu kecil apa? lo kira badan lo kecil kaya dulu ape ya? ha? mikir dong njing badan lo th udah gede ya otak gapernah di pake,pantesan aja dulu teh gilang putusin lo! lo kalo mikir gapake otak lo,terus tu otak lo pake buat apaan? ha? seenaknya lo aja nyubit gua ampe lengan gua biru dan hampir berdarah? lo kira ga sakit apa? gua cuma mukul tulang rusuk lo tapi ga kenceng ya!! malah lo bales dengan cubitan yang sangatlah sakit dan cukup perih,sampe gua keluar air mata!! mampus lo di marahin ibu mampus lo!! gua udah bilang cuma becanda juga lo pake ngeles "becanda apaan kaya gt? dia duluan yang mulai" tapi apa? ibu tetep ngebela gue kan? ahahaha omongan lo ga pernah bisa di percaya,kemaren pas mau solat ied aja lo bangun udah kesiangan pake ngmg ke ibu "ya salah sendiri" yah ilah lo malah nyalahin ibu ck, elo tuh yg salah udah bangun kesiangan nyalahin ibu pula,lo aja mandi udah kaya cewe aja mandi lama banget ckck hahaha parah lo,udah 2x lo kena marah ibu MAMPUS lo MAMPUS !!! seneng banget gw huahahahaha

ya allah tolong!!

ya allah apa harusgue kesiksa kaya gini mulu gara2 feel gue ke dhika kea gimana? gue gamau ya allah,gue gamau kesiksa kaya gini cukup bagi gue buat ngerasain penderitaan waktu sama dia,cukup juga bagi gue buat ngerasain dicaci maki sama dia cukup ya allah! gue gamau lagi gue gakuat,gue pengen nangis!! arrgggg gue gamau ah elaaaaah,gue pengen ngeluarin unek2 gue di blog ini yah sukur2 kalo ada yg mau ngerti feel gue yang sekarang kalo enggajuga gapapa kok hihi ;(
gue nulis postingan ini krn gue pengen aja ngeluarin isi hatigue yg sekarang biar gue agak legaansedikit,gue selalu dimotifasiin sama temen2 gue biargue ga terlalu mikirin beginian,mereka tau kalogue terlalu mikirin beginian gue bakal drop banget,tapi tetep aja gue masih mikirin beginian hm ya allah ga mampu gue buat ngejalanin kaya gini huhu ya allah please jangan bikin gue tertekan kaya gini ya allah fufu-.-
hm tadi gue ketemu cowo ganteng hm lumayan manis lah tapi tetep aja pikiran gue kemana2 pikiran gue tetep aja ke andhika hmm ampun ya allah gue harus gimana? pertama kali-nya gue tersiksa sm perasaan gue sendiri gara2 orang yg udah benci banget sama gue,gue harus gimana ya allah tolong bantu gue tolong banget ya allah

maksud-nya apa gue ga ngerti

gue gangerti deh maksut-nya apaan gue juga bingung kenapa,gue mau cerita ke siapa lagi percuma gue cerita ke orang juga yaaa kaya temen2 gue kaya vela,echa,nanda,dhila,adel,marwah,dersa,bang alfi,ka mitha atau siapa lah mereka juga ga akan ngerti perasaan gue yang sekarang,gua bingung sama perasaan gua bayangin aja gua dikata2in sama seorang cowo yang nama-nya dhika yaaa setajem apa pun perkataan dia ke gua,gua pasrah2 aja seperih apa pun yang dia lakuin ke gua,gua malah terima2 aja parah dah gua binguuuuuung-_-
yaAllaaaaaah apa sih maksut-nyaaaa??? ampuuuuuundeh gue kesiksa bangeeeeeeeeeeeeeet ampuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

kan gue coba cerita sama vela kata-nya gua sayang sama die ampuuuuuuuuuun ah gue gamau padahal di depan mata gue banyak cowo yang lebih perfect dari dia kenapa gua jadi kepikiran dia mulu ya? whyyyyy?
oh god please tell me why,

kalo orang yang bersangkutan baca beginian mah paling dia ngmg "bodo amat ga peduli gue!"
dia juga ga akan pernah tau apa yang udah gua lakuin ke dia, gua rela2in di marah2in sama abang2an gua sama temen2 gua buat dia terus juga gua bela2in ngeboong sama temen2 gua buat dia aja ALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ampun yaAllah jangan lo lakuin ini lagi ke gue,gue ga sangguuup,gue ga mau stuck di dia gue gamau astaghfirullaaaaah ga mau yaAllaaaah ;(

haha akhir-nya dapet juga hihi :DD

hadeeeeeeeeeeeeh sekian lama gua mencoba men-download video "one time" justin bieber tapi selalu gagal hahah parah deh-,-
dan sekarang baru kelaksana HAHA seneng banget guaaaaaaaaaaa hahaha gua udah ada aplikasi-nya itu gua dapet bocoran dari ade2an gua waktu gua chat sama dia di msn wkakaka thank you ya deeeee hahah baik deh km wkwk

You Belong With Me

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato

I throw all of your stuff away
Then I clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone that we are through
Cause I'm so much better without you
But it's just another pretty lie
Cause I break down
Everytime you come around
O Oh O Oh

So how did you get here
Under my skin?
Swore that I'll never let you back in
Should have known better
In trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you
Is so addictive
We're falling together
You think that by now I know
Cause here we go go go again

You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Everytime that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye
But it's no use
Can't Be With Or Without You
O Oh O Oh

So how did you get here
Under my skin?
Swore that I'll never let you back in
Should have known better
In trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you
Is so addictive
We're falling together
You think that by now I know
Cause here we go go go again

And Again (And Again)
And Again (And Again)
And Again

I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart
O Oh O Oh
O Oh O Oh

So how did you get here
Under my skin?
Swore that I'll never let you back in
Should have known better
In trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you
Is so addictive
We're falling together
You think that by now I know
Cause here we go go
Here we go again
Here we go again

Should have known better
In trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again

Again again again and again and again
And again and again and again

green day - 21 guns

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

090909

gue bingung apa arti dari tanggal seperti : 010203, 020304, 030405, 040506,050607, 060708, 070809, 010101, 020202, 030303, 040404, 050505, 060606, 070707, 080808 dan sekarang 090909 orang-orang kenapa pengen jadian tanggal segitu? yang bikin terkesan itu opo toh mas mba? toh juga entar tanggal 090909 itu bisa berubah karna perubahan bulan dan tahun ko, niat banget ya jadian tanggal 090909 yaitu hari ini ck tambah bingung saya ck-_-

wakaka

berawal dari sebuah kejadian pada tanggal 6 maret 2008 gue putus sama cowo gue dulu namanya farhan hehe terus temen gue iseng dia nanya sama gue

A : temen gue
B : gue
C : yoga

A : nat, lu udah punya cowo belum?
B : hem baru aja putus, emang kenapa?
A : gapapa nih gue punya temen dia lagi nyari cewe nama-nya yoga
B : oh hem temen sekelas lo?
A : iya, mau gak?
B : hem boleh lah mana nmr-nya?
A : yah ada di hp gue, gue lupa bawa
B : oh yaudah oke nanti lu sms gue aja ya oke?
A : oke

( 2 hari kemudian )

B : eh mane neng nmr-nya?
A : hehe gue lupa sms lo nat
B : yah elu mah
A : tapi tenang nat gue udah kasih nmr lo ke dia ko
B : oh yaya
A : kata-nya nanti mau sms lo
B : oh yaudah i waiting deh
A : oke deh nat
B : haha iya dah ya

( seminggu kemudian )

B : eh ko dia ga sms gue si?
A : hem kata-nya dia udah sms lo tapi kata-nya nmr lo pending mulu
B : yah ampun hp gue aktif 24 jam non-stop kali
A : oh yaudah besok gue tanya lagi deh sama orangnya
B : oh okeoke deh

( rabu, 19 maret 2008 )
gue sms temen gue itu ck-,- gue orangnya ga sabaran yehaha

B : "fen, ko temen lu itu gak sms2 gue ya?"

A : "hem gatau deh gue juga nat"

B : "yaudah mana nmrnya sini gue aja yang sms die"

A : "yaudah bentar gue kirimin dulu"

B : "oke"

A : "+628569780xxxx"

B : "oh oke thanks yaw, eh tapi gue bingung mau sms apa hehe"

A : "bilang aja eh ini yoga temennya peni ya?"

B : "okeoke thank youuuu :)"

A : "yap sama-sama"

( rabu. 19 maret 2008 jam 16.55 )

B : "eh ini yoga temennya peni ya?"

C : "iya, ini nadya temennya peni juga ya?"

B : "hehe iyaaaa"

C : "oh hehe skolah di alazhar kemang ya lo?

B : "hem iyaaaap, lo temen sekelasnya peni?"

C : "hehe iya gw temen sekelasnya peni"

B : "oh hehe, kelas 8 ya lo?

C : "iyaa lo kelas berapa?"

B : "gue kelas 7 hehe ade kelas lo"

C : "oh ade kelas gw haha"

B : "haha yoiyoy"

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( jam 17:00 )

C : "oh haha iya dah hem oiya nad gw pengen ngmg sama lo"

B : "ngomong aja kali yog"

C : "lo mau ga jadi cewe gw?"

B : "aduh hem gue jawab 5 menit lagi ya?

C : "oh yaudah 5 menit lagi gw sms lo lagi ya?"

B : "oke yog"

( 5 menit kemudian 17:05 )

C : "nad jawabannya apa?"

B : "yaudah gue mau jadi cewe lo hehe"

C : "hehe oke thanks ya nad :D"

B : "hehe iyaaaa sama2 :)"


di saat itu lah yang paling berkesan buat gue hehe bakal inget terus cerita ini wkwkwk
jadi sayang lagi gue sama 190308 :)
5 bulan lagi 2 tahun loh ;DD

bodoh ah

ah bego banget gue tanggal 2 september kemaren hari rabu gue ke lia abis itu pas jam 17.57an gue ke ruang gue dulu 102 gue foto-foto bentaran disitu abis gitu gue keluar liat my old love wakaka si febri abis solat maghrib lagi duduk buat pake sepatu terus gue mikir "nanti aja ah pas pulang gue minta-nya kalo sekarang males banyak orang yg liat" terus gue ngmg ke temen gue nama-nya tesa

t : tesa
n : gue

n : sa, liat deh ke sebelah kanan lo, lo liat ga ada anak pake baju biru terus agak botak lagi pake sepatu
t : hem mana? oh iyaiya gue liat, emang itu siapa?
n : febri, gebetan gue dulu hehe tapi sekarang masih haha
t : hem gebetan lo toh
n : kalo senyum manis hehe
t : oh hehe
n : neng, ke atas yuk lewat situ tuh
t : yaudah yuk

pas jam 7 kurang bel bunyi dan gua belum selesai susulan periodic, secepet mungkin gua buat selesai dan akhirnya gua selesai pas gua kebawah FEBRI UDAH PULANG ah tai banget kaga jadi gua minta nmr hp dia ck dr situ gue nyesel bgtbgtan sampe sekarang err:@

najis iwh

najis keinget lagi gua sm masa-masa suram gua waktu ama tu bocah ah sial sebut aja A ck-,-
pas tanggal 14 juli kemaren gua lagi diajak jalan gitu sama bonyok dan pada saat itu emang keadaan gua lagi minta putus sama si A terus tiba-tiba pas gua lagi jalan hp gue geter (deeerrt) abis itu gua mikir "siapa deh yang sms tumben amat ada yang sms jam segini" pas gua liat tau-taunya sms dr A iwh ck

A : cowo ngeselin
N : gue

A : Klo km mau mtusin ak. Ptusin ajah. Trserah. Kmren ak gada pulsa
N : (peduli gua ape?) Yaudah putus ye
A : Yaudah. Trserah km ajah. Ak cape
N : (alhamdulillah) Yaudah kalo kamu cape kita putus
A : Makasih km udah mtusin ak. Ak benci bgd ama km nad.
N : (bodo amet) Benci kenape dah? Aku tuh ga suka sama hubungan ga jelas kaya gini ah elah
A : Kmren ak engga ada plsa. Dan skrng km mtusin ak lg. Yaudah dh. Jgn lg km hubngn ak. Trserah
N : (yaudeh serah gua) Yaudah ah terserah kamu mau kamu apa
A : Trus km puas udh giniin ak?hah! Mkasih bgd!
N : (belum puas gua) Giniin kamu apaan si? Emang aku ngapain?
A : Udah puas nyakitin ak!hah!
N : (belum terlalu puas tuh) Emang kapan si aku nyakitin kamu?
A : Skrng. Km mutusin ak gt ajah. Gara2 ak engga bls sms km. Yaudahlah!
N : (o sekarang ye gua gatau haha) Aku tuh ga suka hubungan yang ga jelas kaya gini
A : Emg'a gajelas apa?smua jelas2 aja kya'a...yaudah. Trserah km..ak cape!
N : (yaudah kalo cape) Yaudah lah ah terserah kamu mau ngmg apa juga
A : Ak gabisa khilangan km. Ak gabisa. Ak sayang bgd ama km..(jurus ampuh mulai dikeluarin jeng jeng)
N : (hueekkk mamam noh sayang) Terus mau kamu apa?
A : Trserah km. Dr smlem ak ga tdur. Ak nangis trus.
N : (peduli gue?) Terus mau kamu kaya gimana deh?
(pas tgl 15 msh brlanjut)
A : Udah cukup buat ak. Smlem ak ga tdur. Mkirin km. Nangis. Dll. Ak udh cape.
N : (hem tau dah) Drtd th aku ga konsen belajar gara2 mikirin kamu tau ga (haha huek jijik gua)
A : Knpa km msi mkirin ak? Biar ajah ak ky gni. Ak emg pantes koq ky gni. Udah cukup buat ak. Smleman ak engga tdur. Nangis. Engga mkan smpe skrng. Gr2 km. Emg'a ak salah apa sh sama km..
N : (emang pantes bgt lu kaya gini) Sebenernya kamu ga salah tapi aku-nya aja yang bego malah mutusin kamu (awaw jijik)
A : Ak udah bnyak bgd salah. Pdhal ak udah janji bkal brubah buat km. Tp ak slalu gagal. Ak minta maaf.
N : (o gitu yeh?) Iya aku maafin kamu, aku th bego bgt ya pake ptsn kamu (sok meyakinkan)
A : Engga. Ak yg bego. Hr ini ak engga tdur lg. Mikirin km. Nangis lg.
N : (hem emg lu bego) Ngapain lagi si mikir aku? Ga guna juga lagi
A : Ak gabisa. Ak sayang ma km. (ngeeeek dah enek gua)
N : Aku juga sayang sama kamu (pdhl engga sepik sepik aja gua)
A : Tp kenapa km tega gniin ak?kenapa?
N : Maafin aku ya
A : Udah ak maafin. Tp ak engga kuat klo hrs khilangan km. (jetduaaar disgusting)

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poko-nya ujung2nya gua balikan sm dia butuh 3-4 hari gua smsan ama dia buset tangan gua cape ngetik sms mulu slama itu engga brthn lama gua pts lagi hh itu lah sms gombal-nya dia, gara2 itu sms gua jd stres decc, okay deh udah dulu yaw gua ngantuk bgt men, byee